we can cross over easily into Jaurez Mexico. We park our car and pay our 35 cent toll and walk over the rio grande to visit our neighbors to the south. Once we get there we quickly realize that by dumb luck we visited on mexican labor day. The good news is they have a parade. The bad news is we are slightly worried that the frustrated mexican workers/paraders will notice the happy-go-lucky american tourists and "explain" their social plight. The even worse news is that they don't serve alcohol anywhere in the county while the parade is going on, which is the entire length of our mexican stay. Kind of cool though. They don't serve during the parade and they don't serve on election days. The main street, 16 de Septiembre (mexican independence day), is packed but the rest of the city is pretty open, which is nice. We make our way over to the main market place and haggle with the locals over some souvenirs. Not sure if it's their culture or the fact that we were the only ones there, but the hard sell was definitely on. Some of their sales pitches were pretty comical. One guy had the following exchange with Jake...
shop owner: "Hello my friend, looking for something for your girlfriend"
shop owner: "Hello my friend, looking for something for your girlfriend"
Jake: "I don't have a girlfriend"
shop owner: "for someone else's girlfriend then?"
shop owner: "for someone else's girlfriend then?"
After that we grab some pizza for lunch... Yeah, I can't even type that with a straight face. Why fix something that aint broke, we had mexican in mexico. It only seemed fair and it was excellent. We say our goodbyes to mexico and head back to the border. I didn't realize it but lots of people commute to work from one country to the other, so there is a long line to get back into america both by foot or car. After waiting our turn and flashing our passports we are back in the USA and on our way to our next stop.
Whataburger - Throughout the southwest portion of the trip we've noticed this line of 
hamburger joints called Whataburger, and its become Jake's new fascination. We finally decide to stop at one, however, we just ate a few hours ago so none of us are hungry. Still we need to check it out. When we get inside the restaurant, the conversation goes something like this. "We don't want any food, but we'd really like a whataburger shirt, whadaya say?" The newly hired cashier's brain almost explodes as she tries to find the clothing buttons on the register. Eventually she gets her manager, and we explain our new found love for Whataburgers and how we can't get them in the northeast. Every employee in the restaurant has now stopped doing their jobs and are watching the 3 jackasses negotiate for fast food apparel. The manager finds us somewhat amusing and agrees to sell us 3 hats at cost. Final tally: 3 adjustable Whataburger hats - $8.85. 0 transfats. Easily my most successful fast food transaction on many levels.
hamburger joints called Whataburger, and its become Jake's new fascination. We finally decide to stop at one, however, we just ate a few hours ago so none of us are hungry. Still we need to check it out. When we get inside the restaurant, the conversation goes something like this. "We don't want any food, but we'd really like a whataburger shirt, whadaya say?" The newly hired cashier's brain almost explodes as she tries to find the clothing buttons on the register. Eventually she gets her manager, and we explain our new found love for Whataburgers and how we can't get them in the northeast. Every employee in the restaurant has now stopped doing their jobs and are watching the 3 jackasses negotiate for fast food apparel. The manager finds us somewhat amusing and agrees to sell us 3 hats at cost. Final tally: 3 adjustable Whataburger hats - $8.85. 0 transfats. Easily my most successful fast food transaction on many levels.The Thing - If you've ever driven through southern Arizona you've probably seen one of the 247 billboards advertising "The Thing". I'm not joking, this road side attraction has more hype than the democratic primaries. Those marketing geniuses hooked a few more fish as we decide we can't pass it up. Guess advertising does work. We cough up a buck a piece and head into the exhibit. Large yellow big-foot, foot prints guide you on your way through the 3 garage museum. The first room has about 6 exhibits, each with a sign describing what it is and somehow using the word "thing" cleverly. For example, "This antique car was really THE THING for transportation in 1932". yeah. that's the level of entertainment we're experiencing.
None of us can seem to figure out any theme to the exhibits either. The first room starts with a tractor and ends with a bunch of life size wooden sculptures torturing each other. The first room also contains a c
ar that was used to by adolph hitler, complete with a dummy in the back seat dressed up like the sociopath himself. "THE THING is no one can prove it wasn't used by Hitler". Just keeps gettin better. In the second room is an equally random mishmash of relics. There's muskets and driftwood sculptures and saddles to name a few. It's kind of like someone's crazy aunt died and they just decided to make a museum out of her oddest shit instead of splitting it up or selling it on ebay. Anyway we finally reach the exhibit we've all been waiting for, THE THING itself. THE THING is actually a mummy complete with a little baby mummy companion lying in a glass top coffin. No idea if THE THING or any'thing' in this museum is real, but it made me laugh uncontrollably 3 times so I'd say it was well worth the washington.
ar that was used to by adolph hitler, complete with a dummy in the back seat dressed up like the sociopath himself. "THE THING is no one can prove it wasn't used by Hitler". Just keeps gettin better. In the second room is an equally random mishmash of relics. There's muskets and driftwood sculptures and saddles to name a few. It's kind of like someone's crazy aunt died and they just decided to make a museum out of her oddest shit instead of splitting it up or selling it on ebay. Anyway we finally reach the exhibit we've all been waiting for, THE THING itself. THE THING is actually a mummy complete with a little baby mummy companion lying in a glass top coffin. No idea if THE THING or any'thing' in this museum is real, but it made me laugh uncontrollably 3 times so I'd say it was well worth the washington.The Ghost of Tom Mix - On the way to Phoenix we decide to take a scenic drive to see some 
of the desert and cacti. We get some cool pictures of some 20+ ft cactus and stop at a few historical markers. One gives us the phrase "beardown" which becomes a mantra for the trip. Originally said by some football player on his deathbed to his team that inspired them to win or something, yada yada...beardown, BEARDOWN!!!. Another historical mile marker is a memorial to Tom Mix, an old time cowboy actor who died on this very road. The monument itself is a small stone pillar with some nice words about the departed, and a piece of paper with his picture on it taped to the top of the monument. Guess funding was low. We get back in the car and start to leave when Jake decides its a great time to peel out of the gravel cutout to get back on the main road. Tim remarks how it's kind of disrespectful to desecrate a man's memorial like that, to which Jake bursts into laughter realizing that he not only kicked up a bunch of gravel but also literally almost pissed on his grave. It was getting late, we'll give him a break. Although, it's at least even money Tom mix's ghost will get his revenge at some point on this trip.
of the desert and cacti. We get some cool pictures of some 20+ ft cactus and stop at a few historical markers. One gives us the phrase "beardown" which becomes a mantra for the trip. Originally said by some football player on his deathbed to his team that inspired them to win or something, yada yada...beardown, BEARDOWN!!!. Another historical mile marker is a memorial to Tom Mix, an old time cowboy actor who died on this very road. The monument itself is a small stone pillar with some nice words about the departed, and a piece of paper with his picture on it taped to the top of the monument. Guess funding was low. We get back in the car and start to leave when Jake decides its a great time to peel out of the gravel cutout to get back on the main road. Tim remarks how it's kind of disrespectful to desecrate a man's memorial like that, to which Jake bursts into laughter realizing that he not only kicked up a bunch of gravel but also literally almost pissed on his grave. It was getting late, we'll give him a break. Although, it's at least even money Tom mix's ghost will get his revenge at some point on this trip.Phoenix/Scottsdale - We arrive in Scottsdale and realize we have no idea what time it is. We have like 8 different devices in the van that tell time. Almost all say something different and none of them are right. We've been through at least two different time zones (and countries) that day which is confusing enough, but to complicate matters more, arizona doesn't observe day light savings (except for the navaho nation) and on every 3rd wednesday of months ending in y and having 30 days. (ok that last part i made up). Anyway, we finally get to Scottsdale and are welcomed by our old friend Mattias. Mattias has graciously agreed to put us up for the night to help ease our aching wallets. He lives in an awesome apartment complex (there's a waterfall in the pool) and he's within walking distance of all the hotspots in Scottsdale. We eat a good dinner and catch up on old times and then head to a bar. The locals are apparently in rare form since it appears to be body-shot night and tops are optional. It's the only thing that pulls us away from our political debate. The conversations go something like, "No. McCain used to be for X, until recently when he...whoa did you see that?" Vodka, politics, and breasts not a bad Thursday. Thanks Mattias and thank you scottsdale.
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What?!?!? No pictures from Dos Gringos? Weak...
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