RoadTrip - Day 4

9th ward- On our way out of New Orleans we decide to drive through one of the sections devastated by Katrina, the 9th ward. We see shells of houses gutted, leaning, demolished, and uninhabitable years now after the tragedy. There is some new construction, but very little. It's a stark contrast to the rest of the city that was surging with life from its residents and vegetation. There's nothing funny or comical to say about this. It was a true American tragedy that the area still has not recovered from. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but seeing the devastation firsthand has added emphasis to the meaning for me.

We leave New Orleans on a somber note, but also with great memories, mostly due to the people. To all our new friends and the city itself, we thank you for a truly memorable time.

LSU for Lunch- After we leave New Orleans we head straight for Austin Texas. On the way though we need to eat, so we settle on Baton Rouge, and more specifically Louisiana State University. We find a little outdoor deli right on campus and eat with the students and faculty. Generally seems like a nice place with nice people but not very distinctive or memorable. Sorry LSU fans. Tim takes a bite of his sandwich and is done. Jake and I are not surprised.

Houston - On the way to Austin we drive through Houston. We read up a little bit before we get there to know what we're in for. It's apparently the 4th largest city in the United States with over 2million peeps and over 6mil in the metropolitan area. With that many people there's gotta be some great stuff going on.

We drove through the city a little before rush hour and saw roughly 6 people. Maybe the other 1.9million+ were still working. The new baseball stadium is right in the city, which is cool, but everything else seemed very sanitized and generic. We were unimpressed so we decided to give it one last shot with a quick drive through chinatown. The 3 buildings that appear to compose all of chinatown seemed very nice. Needless to say our opinion wasn't changed, and I don't think any of us will be returning voluntarily anytime soon. But hey, we could be wrong, it was just a drive by.

The Live Music Capital of the World- Finally we arrive in Austin Texas and check into our absolute best hotel room of the trip. It's a 4 room, 3 queen bed suite in the heart of downtown Austin, all for just 90 bucks. Super 8, you are our new favorite adjective and numeral combination. After we unload all our stuff again, we get ready and hit the city. We make our way to 6th street where a bum gives me parallel parking pointers. We walk up and down 5th and 6th street until we pick out our spot. Our first stop is Nuno's, which has an amazing blues band playing. The lead singer sounds like George Thorogood and the drummer performs a walking drum solo throughout the bar, hitting anything that will reverberate, including patrons' heads. As we enter, a guest piano player is finishing up his set with the band. He's a 94 year old blues veteran who's still rocking. Really cool. After the main band finishes a few sets they invite any musicians in the audience to come up and play. About 30 seconds into the first song they realize the new "bass player" doesn't know how to play bass, kind of an important job requirement. The other guys are really good. Overall it's just a cool experience. Every song is about 10-15 minutes and turns into a jam session.

After a couple hours there we head down the road to our next stop. Another blues band with another great group of musicians. Tim was a fan of the guitar players, but the lead singer was the highlight for me. He sounded like Joe Cocker and looked like Biff from back to the future. For a Monday night, it was pretty impressive. Definitely a place I'd like to come back to and spend a long weekend.

RoadTrip - Day3

JazzFest- One of the main reasons we planned our trip the way we did was to be able to hit JazzFest in New Orleans. Unfortunately for the 2nd straight day (ironically the full length of our visit), there is an 80% chance of rain. Jake and I decide to roll the dice and see if we can avoid the rain. We scalp a couple of tickets outside the front gate and make our way into the festival. The first thing we notice as we go in is a larger than life gospel tent. Jake and I both cringe and are relieved neither of us wants to subject the other to that. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

We start walking around and listen to a couple of cool jazz and blues bands, and then take a lap to soak in all the festivities. All and all it was really cool. Lots of food, lots of music, lots of alcohol, and mermaid statues. Really what more can you ask for. The answer to that question is "good weather", because right about then is when the rain clouds rolled in. Jake and I did some quick math and realized we had 3 more hours until the one act we really wanted to see was going to come on and his venue was not covered. So we decided we could either leave or eat a pound of mud and catch pneumonia. We opted for choice 1 and said our goodbyes to Jazzfest. Just as we got in the car the deluge started and lasted for about 5 hours. All in all, we wished we got better weather but a fun experience none-the-less.

Crawdad picinic- After we leave JazzFest we meet up with Jameel and Tim for a Crawdad picnic on the Tulane campus park, running right along the Mississippi river. After 2 straight days of rain the river was angry and extremely high. If you've never had crawfish they are an interesting eating experience. They basically look like mini lobsters and eating them is a little brutal (for both the eat-er and eat-ee). You basically rip them in half and then peel and eat the tail section and throw the rest away. It's a lot of work for a little very average tasting seafood, but it felt like a true new orleans experience, so we were happy. The no doubt about it highlight of the meal was when a caterpillar-like bug fell from the roof of the gazebo and landed in Tim's lap. Calmly, cooly, and macho-ly Tim sprung to his feet and shrieked like a 8 yr old at a Hannah Montana concert until he was able to flick it off.

Alligator lingerie- After our picnic we head into town and immediately spot a can't-pass-up photo op, a plywood face cutout of tarzan wrestling an alligator. Jake and I immediately take turns striking the pose. When we're done, we notice to our utter delight that we're standing in front of an alligator museum. We gladly pay our $2 admission and start aimlessly wandering through the 2.5 room museum like we had never seen an alligator before. The highlight of the museum was probably a tie between a 50million year old gator fossil and a sculpture of a half-alligator, half-horse riding a bicycle. Nah, what am I saying... gator-horse wins hands down.

After leaving the museum we stumble across the street to a lingerie shop with a mannequin in the window dressed in her night time attire and holding a mop. I guess this is someone's fantasy, but we found it incredibly random and funny and decided we needed to get a picture with said mannequin. Somehow we talk the shopkeep into re-opening the store (it just closed 10mins ago), opening up her display window, letting us pose like idiots, and on top of all that she went outside to take the picture of us. I think the conversation went something like..."Hey we're on a road trip across the country and would love to get a picture with your mannequin in the window". Starting to believe people really are nicer in the south.

Magazine St.- After our random acts of stupidity, Jameel takes us to another cool local bar with an awesome wrap around deck on the 2nd floor. We play some foosball, watch the sixers game, and generally have a great time with all our new friends. Before we know it we've spent 6+ hours in the same bar and have had an amazing night.

Late night on Burbon- In our last night in New Orleans we decide to see how hard burbon street parties on a Sunday night. The answer is pretty hard and into the wee wee hours of the morning. The best part was a phillipine bartender we met with a crazy laugh/cackle that I could only describe as the wicked witch laugh from the bugs bunny cartoons played at too high a speed. She may or may not have put a voodoo hex on Jake.

RoadTrip - Day 2

Driving through the Night/Morning - after spending about 5 hours on the same road we finally make it out of Virginia and into Tennessee. We're starting to get into unfamiliar territory, a nice mix of exhaustion and excitement fill our stale air. Right about the time we hit Alabama, the minivan informs us she needs an oil change. I'm sure this will end well.

We decide to hit up a wafflehouse for breakfast. I bring my laptop to find something to do before we hit New Orleans. Pretty sure it was the first laptop to grace this fine establishment. I think I should of got a free side of hashbrowns or something. Our waitress comes over and asks us something that none of us can understand. After 3 attempts she gets frustrated and pawns us off on another waitress who's fluent in yankee. After finishing up our extra healthy breakfast and getting a recommendation from the delightful Beverly, we're ready to get back on the road.

Random superhuge mythological statue with a great ass - Overlooking Birmingham is Vulcan park. It's centerpiece attraction is a 50-ft cast iron statue of Vulcan, the mythological god of fire and metal.

Here's an inscription from the base of the statue:

"Vulcan's Prophecy:

Just as my stature towers over the cone of earth

so shall the district, from whose breast the ore

and coal were torn and fused to give me birth

exceed all others in "times march". For O'er and O'er

nature hath flung her treasures with a generous hand

and Birmingham sits throned. Both hemispheres

can draw on her. The mineral wealth of every land

is there allied to rule the world in future years"....ah, ok. moving on.

Retired warrior - shortly after visiting our superhuman statue friend we head due south for Mobile Alabama. In a harbor in Mobile sits the decommissioned battleship USS Alabama. She's an unbelievably impressive monster of a ship. We buy tickets for a self guided tour and spend the next two hours exploring the ship. Everything about it is imposing, from the artillery right down to the sleeping quarters. She typically had over 2500 crew members and earned 9 battlestars during World War II. The whole time walking through the ship I kept thinking to myself, guys much younger than me were working here under the worst of conditions, ready to fight for their lives at any moment. Heroes died here defending our country, they have my respect and admiration. Definitely worth the price of admission, plus they have a bunch of other decommissioned military vehicles and artillery including a submarine and a handful of planes and jets.

Welcome to New Orleans! - after leaving Mobile we're finally ready for New Orleans. We arrive at the city limits in a torrential rain storm, cementing our preconceived notions of a swampy rainforest city. We pull up to our hotel valet and realize we need to figure out how to get all of our 3 cubic tons of junk out of the minivan and into the hotel since we won't have access to our car. By this point we've probably packed and re-arranged once or twice so we have a general idea, but in a downpour and working on very little sleep, it was less than fun. Tim's prized cowboy hat (with effeminate sash) was almost a casualty.

After we get settled into our hotel and catch up on the NFL draft, Tim's friend (and soon to be tour guide), Jameel arrives. He's an awesome guy and we have all the confidence he will show us a good time.

We start off with Po-boys and handgrenades (mixed drink with lots of Grain and a non-threatening plastic handgrenade floating in them) on Burbon street. We then convince Jameel to take us to the cool parts of town that only the locals know about. We head to the "Frenchman district" and enjoy some fine cocktails and jazz at Ray's Boom Boom Room. We order a round of shots which Jameel negotiates into what appears to be a full bottle of Vodka. Jake does about 1/2 a shot and then decides to start conducting experiments involving fire an flammable alcohol. and that's the story of how the great new orleans fire of 08 started...I mean everything turned out fine. Really.

After the fi...I mean Rays, we check out some of the other cool bars in the frenchman. At one point we stopped in a bar that I can only guess caters to tranny-senior citizens, at least based on the live show going on. New Orleans. a little something for everyone. We end up having a great time, making some awesome new friends, and getting a good feel for the super cool non-touristy night life of New Orleans. We can't wait for part 2.

RoadTrip - Day 1 - continued

Dinosaur Land - In a testament to our long dormant, neanderthalic, hunting skills; we located a nest of real-life dinosaurs. And by real-life, I mean cheesy plastic replicas... but close enough. As soon as we saw it, we knew we had to stop. Also, apparently the definition of dinosaur is pretty flexible considering they also have a huge Shark, a menacing Octopus, and a 20 foot Kong.

Skyline drive - The only part of the drive we really planned out before we left was hitting at least one section of skyline drive in Virginia. If you don't know, Skyline drive is a beautiful stretch of winding mountainous road that runs atop the blue-ridge mountains in shenandoah national park. It's well worth it, if you have the opportunity.

However, not so much if you don't get there until after sunset. We arrived as the last bit of light was still lingering, so the first few miles were awesome. After that we spent the next hour or so winding up and down the mountain and dodging every deer in Virginia. They seemed happy to see us.

First Supper - After we made it out of our deer dodging mountain escapade, we were starving and ready to eat our first dinner on the road. We turned to our new friend the garmin for some delicious recommendations. After selecting what sounded like a local option with authentic cuisine we were happily on our way. 15 minutes later, we are on 1 lane dirt road in the pitch black of night. We each start taking mental inventory of the weapons we have in the minivan. The garmin seemed like our best option. We could throw it at an attacker and get revenge on the evil device that betrayed us. We finally get to the end of the "deliverance" road to find 2 houses and a trailer. Absolutely no chance of any of them being a restaurant. 50/50 they have electricity. Good job garmin.

Now we're even more hungry, so we settle on making our own dinner. We get some lunch meat and a few other supplies and have a moonlit, tailgate dinner in the Food Lion supermarket parking lot. Nothing says class like pavement and pastrami.

All nighter time - In an effort to spend more time in New Orleans we decide to drive through the night and get there as soon as we can. We drive in shifts and sleep when we need to. Although no one seems to remember who drove between 4 -5 am, so let's chalk it up to the garmin redeaming itself.

As midnight rolls around and officially ends day1, we find ourselves still in virginia, but already with a handful of good memories, with the promise of many more to come.

RoadTrip - Day 1

And it begins...

Tim, Jake, and I (Allen) have officially started our much awaited cross country road trip.

Here's the highlights so far.

Prolouge

We all agree to meet up at Jake's place at 11 to drop off cars and combine our stuff.

11:00am: Total number of people at Jake's: 1 (including Jake)

11:45am: I arrive at Jakes. We're pretty sure Tim is awake and in the vacinty of leaving his apartment. I get aquainted with Jake's cats. They're a friendly bunch.

12:30pm: Tim arrives at Jakes. Everyone rejoices (cats included). Our group is now assembled (cats not included). Jake and I load our things into Tim's car and head for Thrifty. We're so close we can almost taste it.

12:40pm: Our first setback. We realize we forgot Jake's guitar. The first of many group decisions results in the first of many u-turns. The guitar will not be left behind.

1:10pm: Welcome to Thrifty!!! We swagger into the preffered customers lane with an air of entitlement and excitement. Our trip is moments away from begining, and then disaster strikes...our car rental reservation is invalid.

We spent the last few weeks looking forward to the idea of cruising around in a brand new, 4wd jeep grand cherokee. Unfortunately I failed to read the fine print on Thrifty's Philadelphia airport location rental agreement. Apparently SUV's are only available for people flying in. Somehow I knew Thrifty would fuck us. Mission accomplished.

Goodbye Badass Jeep...Hello Soccer Mom minivan.

After shedding a few tears and inspecting our new ride, we decide it's not so bad. We drop Tim's car off, load up our stuff, and head out. The road is calling our names...our trip has begun.

3:00pm: Tim needs food in his belly, now! We stop at what will undoubtedly be one of the fanciest and healthiest destinations of the entire trip. Roy Rodgers in an I-95 rest stop. yummy (or something like that). We're only an hour in and we've already broken a tentative rule. No fast food. Oh well.

Tim takes two huge swigs of apple juice and a bite of his burger and appears to be done. Our first glimpse into his unique digestive system. This promises to be an interesting storyline.

3:45pm: The betting begins. We decide to guess on what our total mileage will be at the end of the trip. The poor unsuspecting minivan only has 2222 miles on her, she has no idea what awaits her.

Tim: 2222 (current) + 6728(trip) = 8950 (final)
Jake: 2222 (current) + 6786(trip) = 9008 (final)
Allen: 2222 (current) + 7528(trip) = 9750 (final)

Whoever gets closest to the final wins. Price is Right rules do not apply. Stakes to be determined. I think I'm a lock.